THE BIRTH OF NICOLE

 

 

    The doctors were concerned with Mary's pregnancy early on due to the miscarriage she almost had in September.  They had her take an ultrasound to see how the fetus was doing.  That was when we found out we were going to have a little girl.

    From the day we found out we were having a daughter we prepared for her in every way.  We obtained girls clothing and decorated her room accordingly.  Mary did most of the organizing, I did most of the painting, and the entire room was in move-in condition by the beginning of February.

    On the night of the April 13th I worked at Domino's until 2 am.  When I got home, Mary told me she was in labor.

    I became excited.  She said it could take all day, so I might as well try to get some sleep.  I tried, but it was difficult as an energizing feeling overcame my heart.  I had finally fallen asleep when all of a sudden I was awoken before seven o'clock and told her water broke.  I was nervous and giddy at the same time.

    We planned a natural childbirth.  For weeks during the winter we took Lamaze classes in Smithville, a few short miles from the house.

    I liked the class except for one couple, the Scarpa's.  Tony thought he was a hot shit craps Floorperson at Bally's Golden Nugget.  She was some kind of secretary at another joint and thought the two of them were the shit.  I was so embarrassed at what I did for a living I never told anyone let alone bragged about it.  I went to there home with Mary and Nicole for a one-year reunion of the class and it was bought and filled with mob money ego.  Tony wasn't fooling me; I knew that deep down he was just a blue-collar scumbag.

    After Mary was settled in we found out that her water never broke. It was just her over reacting. All there was to do now was make phones calls and wait.

    And wait we did, for nearly nine hours. It was getting to the both of us.  Everyone got tired of waiting, so around five o'clock the doctor gave Mary a shot to induce dilation.  Within twenty minutes, Nicole was trying to get out.

    They had me go to the bathroom to change into scrubs.  When I came out, Mary was being taken to the delivery room.  I caught up with them and accompanied.  My adrenalin began to surge.  The moment I walked into the delivery room it was as if I was transformed into another state of consciousness.

    Things were moving very fast as Mary was trying to hold back the baby.  When she was finally in place the word to push was given.

    I held her hand and coached the entire way. I heard the doctor say he saw the head.  I jumped up and ran to the end of the table to get a snapshot of the baby making her attempt into the new world.  The nurse told me that if I were her husband she would kill me. I told her if she were my wife I would get a divorce.  The baby kept coming and I got a few more shots before going back to be with Mary.

    That little girl came out so fast she caught the doctor off guard. He fumbled with her half way to the floor before getting his grip.  I thought he was going to drop her.  Afterwards, he said everything was fine I gave Mary a kiss and said, "We did it," as the two of us broke out crying tears of joy.

    I got up and walked over to the doctor as he was bringing her over to another table.  The nurse was wiping her when she finally opened her eyes and took a look around.

    The first thing she focused on was my face.  She was so beautiful. I gave her a big smile and said hello.  All I could do was wonder what was going through her mind.  She was not crying, just looking around taking everything in.  I knew she was thinking about something.

    After the doctor was finished we brought her over to Mary.  I was afraid to hold her since I never held a baby before.  Mary embraced her and started to cry.  She looked down at her and said, "We made this?  She's beautiful."  It was one of the most emotional situations I ever lived through in my life.  I was so proud of them.  I told Mary how much I loved her as both were being removed from the room.

    On Saturday afternoon I brought them home.  I was on top of the world until it came time to leave them to go work for the gangster, Donald Trump.  I donned on my new zoot suit and my father took my photograph as I kissed my little girl good-bye.

 

    It was Mary's mother, Barbara Ingemar, who asked us to have Nicole Christened.  Barbara was a good Christian, but I did not see why this little girl needed to be put through such a process.  Nicole did not need to be baptized; she had committed no sin.  That whole ploy by the church saying that if the babies are not baptized they go to hell is a crock.  Itís just their way of getting new members as soon as possible. I wanted Nicole to grow up and make the decision on her own.  I didn't want her to feel that from the start she had no control over her life. My daughter was going to have a mind of her own, one that she was very well capable of making up without any help.  But Mary could not go against the wishes of her mother and asked me to humor her. I held off for some six months but finally gave in so there would be no tension between us.  However, we would have to join a church and that was the last thing I wanted to do.  Besides, we were not legally married. But Mary found one who would take us anyway.  It didn't matter; I knew Nicole would not be brought up in a church.

    I thought of the most open minded morally decent person I could think of to be the Godfather and came up with Bubba.  His real name is Kevin Rupp and I graduated high school with him.

    From the beginning, Bubba and Nicole hit it off.  He loved her and she was always warm to him.  He sent her presents and even drove four hours to attend her first birthday party.  I couldn't have made a better choice.

    Mary's choice in a Godmother was not as prudent.  She chose her sister Karen.  I have never held any respect for her, but did put up with the decision.

    The party afterwards was a lot of fun with Mary's mother and father together in the same room with the woman (Liz) with whom Mary's father cheated for years.  Her parents despised each other.  He said Barbara and her family were all crazy.  Of that he was right.  But I think it was the fear of living with a strong arm for the Mafia that drove her crazy.  At least they behaved while there.

    What convinced me about Barbara Ingemar were the stories about her from Mary, Karen, and their father.  Barbara was strange.  She had an apartment but was so afraid to stay there that she lived in her car.  We could never get in touch with her because of that and I was cruel when suggesting we all get her a car phone for Christmas since that was were she lived.  When I first started seeing Mary back in the fall of '86, her and her sister told me that their mother heard voices from Karen's baby. Even though I liked her, and knew she was a good Christian, I still would not leave her alone with my child and neither would Mary.

 
 
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Dedication

Behind These Eyes

Chapter  1 - OVERTURE

Chapter  2 - IN THE BEGINNING

Chapter  3 - MY FIRST SHOT

Chapter  4 - CHAD AND THE DEALER

Chapter  5 - THE DECISION TO DEAL

Chapter  6 - LICENSE TO STEAL

Chapter  7 - CASINO SCHOOL

Chapter  8 - SPRING '84

Chapter  9 - GETTING IN--THE AUDITION

Chapter 10 - BREAKING IN

Chapter 11 - LEARNING THE BIZ

Chapter 12 - SHOOTING DICE: THE HOOK

Chapter 13 - THE CITY, THE CASINOS, AND THE MOB

Chapter 14 - THE MOVE TO GET OUT

Chapter 15 - FIRED BY THE MAFIA

Chapter 16 - ALONG COMES MARY

Chapter 17 - THE TROP

Chapter 18 - OUTSIDE THE BIZ

Chapter 19 - BACK IN THE BIZ--ANOTHER AUDITION

Chapter 20 - THE BIRTH OF NICOLE

Chapter 21 - TRUMP: THE ART OF THE STEAL

Chapter 22 - PREVIEWS OF THINGS TO COME

Chapter 23 - THE BREAK-UP

Chapter 24 - THE NUT HOUSE

Chapter 25 - RECOVERY

Chapter 26 - PARENTAL ALIENATION

Chapter 27 - FIRED FROM TRUMP

Chapter 28 - I FIGHT FOR NICOLE

Chapter 29 - THE RUN-A-ROUND

Chapter 30 - THROWING IN THE TOWEL

Chapter 31 - WHAT NOW

GLOSSARY